She wrote the “Ode!”at the bottom of this post and she said to me:

I knew he’d never see it and I didn’t fear his ability to retaliate against me; by then, I’d convinced myself he would not take my life and its enjoyment because I would not let it happen. I probably had too much sass in me then when the threat was still there, but I didn’t like where he left me and how I felt; I still don’t. A year ago this month the poem was written as a therapy assignment that DID make me feel a little better. I’ve always been VERY adamant that I am NOT in any way interested in this man and I’m less interested now, if you can be less than 0% interested. I’m 85-90% back to normal and some days, it’s probably 95%. The nightmares still happen, but it is getting a little easier.

That in tune with doing the right thing in a therapy session, 8 days after the chat with his boss, and yet, needing it validated. Yeah, I’m the crazy one — I don’t think so. The fact he has 6, 4 and 2 year old granddaughters makes it worse. His daughter is two months younger than I am. His boss, —- (my ex-friend) hired his daughter to work for this company in March of last year. She’s 20 and a really good looking girl. I worried for her; part of my reasoning too for telling —. If —- thinks so much of —- that he’s willing to sacrifice his daughter’s safety to keep the pervert employed, it speaks volumes about his character. Here’s the poem:

Ode to Slime

Like the waves of the ocean, my days ebb and flow
Some moments are peaceful; others sink below
In a moment of strength, I smile and I laugh
Just one moment later, I beg for a raft
This is now my life; my life known after you
My heart, tossed and broken; a nightmare come true
The lies and deception, the grief and regret
I’ve done nothing wrong, but I feel them; you bet

What we shared was no friendship, whatever you say
For friendship defined is never this way
A friend never strives to make you two feet tall
No, this was no friendship; no friendship at all
The emotional rape of my spirit runs deep
And though you don’t care, this promise I’ll keep
Your toxic existence may have caused me strife
But, no matter your effort, you’ll not steal my life

Your slimed way of life has lost its appeal
You are such a phony and I plan to heal
So, whene’er your waves come to spew o’er my heart
I’ll rise to the surface, grateful we’re apart
I’ll swim towards the shoreline and bask in the sun
I’ll pump my fists proudly, admitting I’ve won
For I am much stronger than you ever knew
I’m better, I’m hopeful, I’m loved, despite you

I live for the future, in spite of my past
I learn from mistakes; life lessons to last
I maintain the friendships that you tried to steal
Unlike our nightmare, those friendships are real
In time, I’ll move past these dark days I now know
And no more will I find myself sinking below
That day, I’ll be grateful for the pain you brought
Because you will have proven all that you are not

You are not perfection and God’s gift to all
You are not a Savior to heal those who fall
You are not a Saint, worthy of a shrine
You are not, nor will you ever, be mine
You are not a hero, better than human race
You are not a martyr, surrounded in grace
While I am not either, I accept this fact well
I do not feel the need to make earthen Hell

On my day of healing, I’ll finally see
The pain and heartache that you brought to me
I’ll find myself wiser to the likes of you
While you’ve slithered back to the rock pile you knew
I’ll continue my journey of wisdom and truth
Far from your existence, dismal and uncouth
As I stand on the shoreline, I will watch you drown
Because Karma’s a bitch and one day, you’ll go down!
© 2012 – Jill Eisnaugle’s Poetry Collection.