We are so lucky to have our family, and friends around us still…Steve and I wake up on this day still in shock, still in pain, but we realize something – we have only two choices now; either accept that we can’t bring Morgan back, and do whatever it takes to find out what happened to her, or curl up in a ball, and give up on life completely.
Well I guess you all know by now what we chose to do. It was not easy to do, and do not think it was without pain, because every step of the way has been extremely painful. But our hearts were telling us this was the right thing to do, so we pushed forward, and cried everyday, and saw our grief therapist once a week.
And the rewards have come often, and offered great comfort to us. Our counselor has been one of the big unsung heroes in our lives. She kept us strong, she kept us on the right track, and most of all she kept us together, because the odds are against parents staying together after a horrifying, and indescribable ordeal like this are pretty slim. She knew we needed each other to follow this path to it’s end, just one of us alone couldn’t do it, when one of us falters, the other needs to step quickly in to help pull them the other up, until continual motion is achieved. While it may sound easy, trust me it has not been. To her we will always be in debt – she is an angel – guiding us as angels do.
Back on this Tuesday, 12.27.2011 my notes show me that we had rental houses to go see…I couldn’t stand the thought of being in this house even for another day, as I kept thinking, praying, hoping, that Morgan would come in the front door with a big smile and say to Tessi, “you are beautiful” just like she always did. But this was never to be. Tessi (our Newfoundland) was still just lying on the floor, grieving, not wanting food, or any interaction. Morgan’s puppy Wylah would start to cough, and act like she was having an asthma attack, every time we spoke of Morgan…later on our veterinarian told us that was her way of grieving…pets are like people – they all grieve differently. And then there was Morgan’s cat Mogwai – he was really a Momma’s boy, and he seemed to know early on that his Momma was not coming back. We worried the most about him. From the day Morgan was no longer with us we never heard him call out to her like he always did, “Momma, Momma” and to this very day he never calls “Momma”. At one point on January 2nd he looked like he had given up on life, and we needed some divine intervention, I could not take the pain of loosing one of Morgan’s precious pets, after loosing her – and then quite a completely unexpected, and amazing thing happened, but that story is still to come.
