I go to the doctor in the morning in Glenwood Springs. Morgan goes into town with her puppy while I am gone. Morgan is really frustrated with everything going on – too much drama. She likes to avoid drama. She throws herself into dance – comes home after I get back, and plays the piano, and shows me her new dance steps, on her toe shoes, that she is working hard on perfecting.
Later this afternoon we start a list of suspects – we write down every single person in neighborhood on a legal pad, including people living at the ranch behind us, so we can start watching and eliminating people. This was a tactical day. We decided every time something happened Steve would jump in his truck and drive around the neighborhood to see whose car was in their driveway, and who was gone. Some of our neighbors are part time residents, with vacation homes, and we will continually cross them off the list as they are proven not to be involved. It’s unnerving to think of all the neighbors as “suspects” but it seems logical at the same time.
Morgan is still sleeping in our closet, except when she is staying at a friends house. Her sister, Godparents, friends and other family members have all offered to have her come stay with them in order to get her out of state, but Morgan does not want to leave her puppy, she doesn’t want to miss a semester of classes and most of all she does not want this stalker to force her to change her life. She thinks if she leaves he wins. I understand where she is coming from, and her father and I are doing everything we can think of to keep her safe, but ultimately we did not have the information or experience in this sort of thing to make the right decision for her at the time.
Looking back on this day I know we should have hidden her out somewhere safe, with her puppy, and not continued on with life as though no one could take her from us…this was ultimately the worst decision we could have made.
Click here to read about the 17th day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=633
Photo credit Max Barbanell
An anonymous comment was added to this post a little after midnight, but I couldn’t approve it to be shown. The person they referred to is the number one person pointed at in the tip line on this website. What they suggested should happen to this person is not appropriate to print at this time. I want everyone to have their voice heard, so this is the most I can say about it. But, thanks for your passion.
Here I am again. Perhaps I am responding so much b/c I was once stalked. And looking back on it, I think it was more serious now than I did at the time. Now I am a parent, and I want you to know that to blame yourself for things you did not know . . . I understand why you might do that, but I pray you forgive yourselves and you find more peace each day.
It is really hard not to blame ourselves because we really thought we were keeping her safe, and yet we do know that we could not have done things we had no knowledge of at the time. Educating ourselves on a daily basis now can’t bring back our daughter, but sharing this knowledge in the hopes that it saves others is our objective.
I am so sorry about what you have had to endure in the past, having experienced being stalked. I have spoken with so many women, and young girls that have gone through this – some are still going through this, and it’s awful. Something must be done about it and I think the time is NOW!
Take care – and thanks so very much for getting involved…we do this for other children, like yours, and we will never give up the fight.
What if’s and should have can haunt you, know that you did your best in the moment to protect your daughter. You were loving and supportive parents who allowed her to be the adult she was and have a say in the matter. There is nothing any of you did that made this happen, so please don’t ever place the guilt on yourselves. Continued thoughts and prayers as I read your story.
Thanks Amanda – hugs!
I saw a post on another blog today about Morgan, so I googled her name. I can’t imagine the pain you have endured, but thank you for sharing this story.
This is so sad. Even though this happened 3years ago, I can feel your frustration. I want to let you know that you should not feel that you were not or did not do enough in this situation. Some things are just beyond our control, and even though it can get frustrating, we must not let that stop our Faith, our Love, our Joy, and Kindness. I do not know you, but I love you. Thank you for sharing your story. RIP MORGAN
Thank you so much for saying all that…I appreciate it more than you can ever know. It is very frustrating and very heartbreaking but love and faith drive us so onward we go. Much love back to you as well.
Please don’t ever blame yourselves, I know that’s hard, but please try. I was a headstrong 20 year old young woman once myself and I would have made the same choice Morgan did – I’d have stayed. It’s completely understandable how you feel and hindsight is 20/20, but you couldn’t have known and it just speaks to what a strong, remarkable woman Morgan was. Everything you’re doing here to honor her memory will help others in the same situation. They’ll have the benefit of seeing what can happen in these situations, and ultimately Morgan may be saving many lives through her story. God bless you.
Susan that is such a sweet thing to say, and I really appreciate it. For the first year after Morgan’s murder I blamed myself for not pushing her to leave. I kept telling her older sister that I couldn’t “make” Morgan do something she didn’t want to do, and I never would, but after her murder I kept telling myself I wish I had “known” what was going to happen, I wish I had listened to my “gut, my intuition” because if I had I would have somehow forced her to leave before the college semester had ended. Finally a year later I came to realize it wasn’t anyone’s fault except for the person or persons involved in killing her. That is when I knew I had to keep going in this direction…raising awareness of the seriousness of stalking, and helping other victims in honor of Morgan.
And then an amazing thing happened – I realized that the more I helped others the better my heart felt. The pain of loosing Morgan is still very real and I’m sure it always will be, but when I am fighting for others I feel like Morgan is cheering me on, so I feel happiness. I love hearing such encouraging things from others because it reinforces my belief that there is still good left in this world and every single one of us can make a difference. Again, thank you so much for your kind words. Hugs.