GUIDE
Part 2 of 2 “Two Communities Respond to Stalking”
Uploaded on Oct 17, 2008
This video features two jurisdictions that successfully use multidisciplinary, collaborative responses to stalking:
Morgan's Stalking
Sharing The Story of Morgan Jennifer Ingram's Stalking and Murder to Raise Awareness
Travis Alexander was stalked and murdered allegedly by Jodi Arias. What do you think of that case? Do you think she did it?
I don’t know – I believe it has gone to trial
Dear Toni,
Almost (2) years ago I encountered a stalker, but it was an unusual situation. My stalker was another woman. How this all began, I had a friend request from someone on FB the profile pic looked familiar an we had over 100 mutual friends. I didn’t see much harm in accepting the request so I did. About a week after receiving the friend request myself an this woman became friends on FB, her profile pic changed, an it was a pic of my boyfriend an her kissing.
I called him immediately an he denied everything. He denied knowing someone of that name, he denied it was him in the photo. After arguing for quite awhile, I received a phone call from her (the girl in the photo) an she began explaining to me that, her an my boyfriend had been dating for weeks now an he was currently living in her house. I did not believe this because, usually every night he would come to my house. She offered to meet me at the McDonald’s by my house to prove to me that they were together. I agreed an left to go meet her. I went by myself, she pulled in with two other females in her car.
She showed me text messages an photos proving that he in fact had been lying to me all along an they were certainly “something”. I broke things off with him, as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot. All night long (that same exact day) he blew my phone up, he was saying how sorry he was an that he loved me, he made a mistake, his friends forced her onto him. He begged for another chance.
I did decide to give him another chance about a month later, he told me the other girl was gone completely an I would never have to worry about something like that again. He came back over to my house an began staying there permanently. Once we made this transition, the stalking began.
At first it was just harassment, 70 phone calls a day, 70 text messages a day, she was verbally attacking me on social networking sites. Then one day I went to school, an there she was in the parking lot. I ignored her, an jus kept walking. Then, 3 days later was our local High School’s football game, as soon as I arrived alot of my friends told me she had been there with a group of females “looking for me”. I did not fear my safety at this point. Throughout her messages she just kept stating she was going to “kick my ass” when she seen me.
That same night following the football game, myself and my boyfriend went to my house. At about 3 a.m. I was woken up to pounding on both my front and back doors. I called 911. They sent an officer out (it took him 1 hour to get there) by that time they were gone. An he jus told me to steer clear of her an if it happens again to call 911.
The same exact thing continued for 3 nights in a row. Every time I’d call 911 by time they made it, she was long gone. On the 4th night the police told me to begin tracing all calls she was making, to print out all the messages she was sending me. An I did. Everyttime she’d call I’d trace it. Every message I printed. Every time I’d see her in my neighbor hood, I’d snap a photo.
About 2 weeks after, her late night show-ups, she made my life a living hell. The stalking took a dangerous turn when my live-in boyfriend moved out. The stalker came to my house in the middle of the day an littered my yard with trash. A few of my neighbors seen her, seen who was with her, seen her car, everything. Seems simple enough for police (who I had called every single time this girl would show up where I was) to make an arrest. But, no. It was not that simple. They told me that, she would receive a “fine” for littering in a public place. I then at that point inquired about a restraining order, they told me unless I had a sexual relationship with the other woman I was unable to obtain a PFA.
Later that same exact night, my neighbors were having a get-together. Everyone in the small community knew about what was going on, because when she would show up, she’d honk her horn, pound on my doors, an scream. So the neighbors were aware. It was around 8 p.m. an I got a message on my cell phone that she was on her way to kick the shit out of me. Again I was only 2 houses down from my own. About 15 mins after receiving the text, 2 cars pulled up to my house. I began to walk down, the stalker was out of her car an walking towards me. We started to fight. Then all of a sudden I was being hit by 3 more females. I told my neighbor that if we started to fight call the police. My neighbor came running down an was screaming the police was on their way. That didn’t make them stop. It seemed like it lasted for ever. Finally, after about 12-15 mins they hurried up an jumped back into their cars an drove off. My neighbor, in the mean time, snapped photos of the fight an both cars that were clearly parked on my property. 35 mins later the police show up. By this time my mother, aunt, and grandmother were all at my house. My mother was irate. She began asking the police was this enough now to have “serious” criminal charges brought against this girl. The officer asked me if I fought back, I told him of course. He then explained to myself & family. That because I fought back everyone involved would be charged with disorderly conduct.
My family at this point talked me into moving back home for a while or at least until all of this stopped. Little did we know it would continue for 2 more months. She continued to follow me, she would show up at my college, she would sit down the street from my mothers house for hours, the phone calls, all the messages. An our local police was well aware of all of this. I carefully documented everything. In the end I received just as much punishment as she did. I got fined for fighting. I also got a $250 phone bill from all the traced calls to my home. I was told in order for the stalker to have to pay for them, I’d have to sue her. Sad!!!
Toni, I wanted to share this story with you an fellow-readers because, I know an understand that “helpless” feeling you experienced when dealing with your towns law enforcement. It’s a very scary thought to know those who we believe are paid to protect us, fail so horribly. Again, I am so sorry for your loss an I will continue to pray for justice for Morgan.
Hope my story shed’s light that stalkers come in all forms, shapes, sizes, an genders.
Very sad story. Was the poster still in high school?? I had trouble reading the post until I realized she used “an” when it should have been “and.” Maybe my English school teacher is coming through!!
Stalking needs to be stopped! I had no idea how pervasive this behavior is and how difficult for law enforcement to be effective IF they even believe the claims.
I am so sorry. For your loss, Toni and Steve, and pray this case is reopened.
No she was not in high school. At the time of all of this I was 21 an she was 20. It’s sickening the way all of this was handled. An very scary to know, another individual can make your life a living hell with no repercussion.
Sorry for the misunderstanding in the way I use “an” instead of “and” just the way I speak.
I am so sorry for what you went through. LE has got to be educated on stalking. This is terrorizing!! And to know it happens so frequently is disgusting.
If I had been LE in this case, I would have treated Morgan’s case with kid gloves. For heaven sake, there was a four-month history of reported stalking prior to her death at the age of 20!! That in itself is troubling and should have raised a huge red flag.
I just wish I had some better answers that do not involved the Ingrams being in this position. So unnecessary and poorly handled from the start.
I actually was walking home from college today and came across a man. He was smoking a cigarette and looked at me walking past him. And then he said to me, ‘what, is this the fourth time I have seen you walk up here today.’ and it was actually. Because I live in the uk I go to a college which is consists of four schools. I had a lesson in one school so I walked up there, then for lunch I walked back down to my base school, then again for my last lesson I walked up. When I walked back down to catch the bus and I saw him. It was so weird because I haven’t even noticed him before. So I decided to get on the wrong bus down for a stop or two so he wouldn’t know what bus I take and I have been switching buses and not staying on the same bus for my whole journey because I feel so paranoid. I am also making sure that I have people to walk with and to not walk alone because I am so scared. Even though he didn’t say a lot or approach me I am still so scared.
I also wanted to say sorry for your loss and I hope you find justice.