Where I can find you
You had left to forever softly
I panicked. desperately, grabbing,
At the space where you used to be
But how could you be where you were
When you became something I couldn’t see
There appeared a nothingness there
A lightness where you used to be cuddled
The space vast and unshared
Deep and wide an explored depth
The edges not definite, now fading and bare
I thought you had left that place forever
It hurts still like an untended wound, tender and familiar
I didn’t know that each day I had to remember
Recall every talk, every laugh and smile
You were my twin, my friend and defender
But I found you
Somewhere between the blankets
In the middle of the night
Somewhere between the sleep and memory
Where we would be up for what seemed like forever
Between the sunset and the sunrise
Somewhere between the music and the reveries
You were never of THIS place
I realize that now
that your beauty was somewhere between
That’s where I find you now
You are the place,
The happy in the summer
The adventure, excitement, and breath of days
You can’t be the same when you become something else
You made the place
I can visit whenever I let go of what you were
When I stop holding so tightly to what isn’t there
that my hands go numb
and heart is clenched in hopes that I will wake
You made the place I can go…
you showed it to me
You left me here
I thought to be alone
I visit the place everyday if I can let go
And take on what is now, where you are
Your crooked smile
Your overwhelming laugh
you friendly guidance,
however harsh or sweet
You’re the warmth next to me
Keeping the nightmares at bay
Bringing the unexpected setting me free
So each night as I bid the sun good bye I lay,
Each breath brings the chance
To be with you in another way
· May 29