For today\u2019s blog I decided to just post a few of the emails I have received from other stalking victims again (these all came in last September, so I will continue to share stories until I get caught up to today at least)….I feel like this is so important for others to read about the experiences of these victims.\u00a0 Stalking has to be taken seriously – peoples lives are forever changed, and it it an extremely dangerous crime, as well as the most under reported crime.\u00a0 Please spread the word – share this blog with everyone you know, and please help whenever you can if there is someone you know that is experiencing stalking.\u00a0 Thank you so much!<\/p>\n
This reader wrote in last September:<\/strong><\/p>\n Hello, I just read your whole blog with great interest. I was the victim of a stalker for 18 months. I lived alone and had to deal with this by myself. It was just before the stalker law went into effect, so the police, though they tried, were of very limited help.<\/p>\n Your description of how it affects your life was very accurate, and I found many parallels to my life at the time. After being arrested and put on probation, it did not stop him, so I left town for a year.<\/p>\n I could go on about the ways I understood your posts, but I will pick one that I find very disturbing that you mentioned. I used to shoot pool weekly with a group and was concerned this man might have located me at the bar (turns out it was elsewhere). I talked to the female bartender and asked her to ask women she knew, and if so, point me out to them to talk, in case it was someone from the bar. I was astonished at the number of women who came up to me to tell their story. I found some similar stories and paired up women with the same experiences with their stalker. Very unnerving to know so many had a stalker.<\/p>\n I applaud what you are doing and hope for the best outcome, we need people like you working towards a community effort.<\/p>\n This one came to me last September as well:<\/strong><\/p>\n 11 years ago I was the victim of stalking-first in person (until I received a restraining order) and then via the internet, and my family and friends (this was before various online harassment laws came into effect in my state). I was fortunate that the law enforcement in my town took this very seriously, particularly a female detective at my local police department. I’m also the stepdaughter of a victim’s rights advocate from another state, and she played a big part in teaching\/instructing me how to get help (my point is I had resources who KNEW how this would end up and helped me make some smart moves). DESPITE new laws coming into play surrounding online criminal harassment during my ordeal, the person who stalked, harassed, and threatened me, when took to court and sued by my state, only received a $35 fine and a slap on the wrist. The ONLY thing that saved me was he had moved on to his next victim by that point (a woman he married, fathered a child with, and did the same thing to). So while I was supported by local law enforcement, the actual laws were ineffective in stopping this pathologic stalker, unfortunately. It’s my belief he will just continue to repeat his behaviors with his next victim and his next and his next. During my trial, I learned via the CORI laws, that this person had stalked and harassed his prior partner as well. He was a known repeat offender and there was no law in place that looked at his entire history and the likelihood that he would repeat his crimes. The laws in place in my state at that time were a joke. In fact, it’s my belief after many years, that the laws almost inspired him to continue his behaviors. I read your story with a heavy, heavy heart, thinking that could have been me, thanking God it wasn’t, and praying for you and your family as you mourn the loss of your beautiful and amazing daughter. God bless you. xoxoxo<\/p>\n \u00a0And another from last September:<\/strong><\/p>\n I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story with the world. I know first hand just how terrifying stalking can be. My mothers ex-husband stalked her after they separated and it was the worst months of my life when that went on. Because of him being her current husband (divorce hadn’t been filed) they never pressed stalking charges against him. He only got a slap on the wrist, and a few short prison stays for violating a protection order. I am so glad to see someone being so outspoken about stalking and the effects it has and how deadly it can turn. Luckily we eventually moved and haven’t had a problem since, but it breaks my heart others are not as lucky. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that one day you get justice for Morgan. Thank you again for sharing your story with the world. It is an amazingly brave thing to do and a great display of the love you have for your daughter.<\/p>\n And again, another from last September:<\/strong><\/p>\n Your story touches me and I am so sorry for your loss:<\/p>\n Dear Morgan, I was stalked in 1986 in North Carolina. I was 19 years old and a college student. I had enrolled in summer school and was working on a campus that was under populated during the summer. I was moving from a dorm to summer housing nearby that was much more affordable. I had just carried my TV down three flights of stairs and had to carry it a long distance to my new place. A fellow student, who I did not know but had seen before, asked if I needed a hand with it. I was thankful for the help. He was friendly and introduced himself. He carried the TV to my new place. I thanked him and that was that, I thought, nothing out of the ordinary. After that we\u2019d say hi to each other in passing. Soon, I began running in to him more and more frequently. Then, I started seeing him in unexpected places. I\u2019d go to the bank, and he\u2019d show up. I\u2019d go to the grocery store, and he\u2019d soon follow. I began dating someone and he would show up at EVERY single date location. He never spoke to me other than to say hi. On occasion I\u2019d hear him say derogatory things under his breath. My friends and the guy I was dating knew that he intimidated me. I stopped sleeping alone. I either stayed at a friend\u2019s place or they stayed at my place. One night, he showed up at party that I was at. I largely avoided him and left after finishing my drink. On the way home I felt so dizzy and weak that I had to sit on the sidewalk with my head between my knees for about 20 minutes before I could get up and walk the rest of the way home. I didn\u2019t suspect that something had slipped something into my drink until much later. The stalking continued. The guy I was dating had just had surgery and I had visited him in the hospital. Then I joined my friends at a local hangout off campus. I hadn\u2019t seen my stalker all day and was in good spirits. I chatted with a guy that I had dated a year prior, when the stalker came up behind me and whispered something extremely derogatory in my ear. It rattled me, and I convinced my friends to go. I wish that I had made different decisions that night. For whatever reason, I decided to sleep in my apartment that night. I had an apartment mate whose boyfriend was a campus cop. I was kind of fed up with the BS, and tired of it. I had to get up really early for work the next morning and didn\u2019t want to inconvenience my friends.<\/p>\n You know how you can tell sometimes when you are sleeping that someone is in the room with you? Well, I was in a deep sleep and started getting that feeling that I was not alone. Next thing I knew, someone was touching me and I was like where am I? I\u2019m supposed to be alone, right? I sat right up and met the eyes of my stalker, crouched beside my bed, mere inches from my face. I started freaking out, and grabbed for the tweezers, the only thing handy. It was 3:36 am per my alarm clock. I managed to stab him in the cheek before he ran out the front door. As an aside, he broke into the back door that led directly into my room, but had the presence of mind to unlock the front door once he was inside, just in case he had to make a hasty exit from either direction. I remember every single detail to this day and still see it in my dreams sometimes. He wore a navy blue t-shirt and navy blue adidas shorts with the white strips down the sides. I walked over to my apartment mates room and knocked on the door. She and her boyfriend had both slept through it. I told them that someone had been in my room. Her boyfriend went to go get the campus police since we did not have a phone. While he was gone I told her that I knew who it was, and told her. She was like, Oh, my God! She had known I was scared of him also. She asked, are you going to tell? I said, I don\u2019t know. When the cop showed up, I told him the name of the person who had broken into my apartment and assaulted me. I was up the rest of the night, sitting up in bed with the trusty tweezers until sunrise. Then, I went to work, told my boss that I had to go see the dean of students as soon as his office opened that morning. My boss asked if everything was okay, but didn\u2019t press for details when I didn\u2019t offer any. I showed up at the dean\u2019s office the minute it opened, and told him about the stalking, the break in and assault and the name of the attacker. He told me that he thought that the incident should be handled internally (read no need to bring poor publicity to the school by involving LE) and that he would talk to the other student involved. He told me that he was sure that the other student would no longer bother me after he was spoken to. I thought, are you kidding me?\u00a0 But I politely said, no, it\u2019s not necessary to talk to him, I\u2019ll just be more careful, and never be alone again, and left. You see, not only was my stalker a fellow student, he was a star player on the college football team. A 300 lb. bruiser. When I got back to work, I asked my boss to use the phone to call my parents in New York. I called and told them what had happened. I told them what the dean said. I don\u2019t remember much else about the call. I borrowed some cloth tablecloths from the cafeteria to completely cover the windows to my room, so that no one could see in. Later that day, a friend came by to help put up the table cloths and my stalker walked by, looked at us and waved. The next morning, I was at work, when my father walked through the door. I\u2019d never been more relieved to see anyone before in life. He said that he was taking me to the city\u2019s police department to file a report. He got directions from my boss. We went to the police department and filed a report. They told me a detective would be assigned to investigate and would be contacting me. The following day I was contacted by a detective who made an appointment to come by and talk to me. My dad had made arrangements for me to move back into a dorm because he felt it was safer, and knew I could not stay in that apartment any longer. He helped me move and then returned to New York. A friend stayed with me while I spoke to the investigator. A few days went by with my attacker still roaming free on campus. The investigator called and told me that there had been a break in of another apartment a short time prior to mine, a house filled with newly arrived Japanese exchange students. They had filed a report, but did not know who the intruder was. But the circumstances were similar, so he had met with them, and they had been able to identify him as being the same person as my stalker from the yearbook. He said that they would be arresting him, but would not tell me when. A few days went by, and the stalker had the audacity to speak to me in the dining hall. He came up to me, put a hand on my arm, and said my name, asked how I was doing, said that I looked stressed out. WTF!!! Before long, a whole slew of police officers showed up where I worked and arrested his ass right in front of my face, cuffed the football star in front of just about every student still on campus that summer. Because I worked there, everyone was asking me if I knew what it was about. The next day he was out on bail and back on campus. He was asking people if they knew who I was, because he had no idea and had never met me before. He packed up and moved back to his mom\u2019s place out of state. I finally felt safe. There was gossip and talk but it died down. Then school started up again and everyone returned to campus, including the rest of the football team. Rumors were rampant – I had slept with the entire football team-He and I had been seeing each other, I liked rough sex and things got out of hand, etc., etc. A few people told me that he had done the same thing to them, or knew people who had since graduated, but would testify if need be. None of them had come forward because they were scared. My stalker\u2019s best friend, fellow athlete, huge dude also, took a job as a campus security guard, IN MY DORM. He had a freakin\u2019 skeleton key to my room!!!! There was a security chain for while I was sleeping or in the room, but he literally had free access to my room when I wasn\u2019t there. I found no evidence that he was ever in there, but I was terrified. Fast forward to homecoming weekend. Big football game. A lot of former players now graduated were back for the game. I heard my stalker was in town, but he\u2019d been banned from campus, and I did not see him. The rumor mill was swirling again. I stayed pretty much in my room all weekend. I had asked my boss for those days off so that I wouldn\u2019t have to see all of those people. At 3:00 am following the big game a huge rock came crashing through the window of my dorm room. A report was taken. The window was not fixed until sometime the following week. Fast forward about six months. I get a call from the DA. The stalker, originally charged with breaking and entering, aggravated sexual assault and attempted rape, had plea bargained down to a simple assault. He would be formally sentenced the following week. He would not serve any time. He would be on probation. He was banned from campus. Following his court appearance he showed up at my place of employment, on the campus that he\u2019d just been banned from. I only saw him once again off campus just before graduating. It was at the bank. Years later I heard from a friend that she saw him working as a garbage collector in the same city. Nice job for a stalker, huh? I live far, far away now. I\u2019m 46 years old, and I can\u2019t tell you how much that experience shaped the course of my life, in some good ways, and also bad ways. I am a mother now, and have a beautiful daughter who I worry about every day. She\u2019s 10 years old and she now knows my story. I felt the need to tell her before school started this year and she wanted to walk home from school by herself. I didn\u2019t want her to and she told me that I worry too much.<\/p>\n Sorry to be so long winded. I\u2019m so very sorry that this happened to you and that nothing has changed all that much in the past 27 years.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For today\u2019s blog I decided to just post a few of the emails I have received from other stalking victims again (these all came in last September, so I will continue to share stories until I get caught up to … Continue reading