{"id":12641,"date":"2026-11-12T15:56:47","date_gmt":"2026-11-12T21:56:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=12641"},"modified":"2026-11-12T15:56:47","modified_gmt":"2026-11-12T21:56:47","slug":"gaslighting-and-stalking-understanding-control-tactics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=12641","title":{"rendered":"Gaslighting and Stalking: Understanding Control Tactics"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"I know I have mentioned before that when my youngest daughter, Morgan, was being stalked, we put up cameras and motion detectors. We called the sheriff\u2019s office again and again. We were all on alert, day and night. I wish I could explain how exhausting it is to hear something outside, get up to check, and then try to go back to sleep when you know it could happen again tomorrow night.<\/span><\/p>\n

Since I started writing about Morgan, people have shared their own experiences with me. Their stories have made me think about how hard it can be to explain what\u2019s happening when someone hears only one piece of it. A phone call. A car outside. A message. You\u2019re trying to tell them why you\u2019re scared, and they\u2019re trying to make sense of one incident. You\u2019re living with all of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s one reason I want to talk about gaslighting and stalking. Stalking is about power and control. Gaslighting can be one of the ways someone tries to keep that control.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

When someone makes you question what you know<\/span><\/h3>\n

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that wears down your trust in your own memory, perceptions, or judgment. Someone may repeatedly deny what happened, insist you remembered it wrong, or tell you that your reaction is proof you can\u2019t be trusted to explain it. Over time, you may find yourself apologizing for bringing up the very thing that frightened you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine an ex keeps showing up where you work after you\u2019ve asked them to leave you alone. When you bring it up, they insist you\u2019re imagining things. Then they tell mutual friends you\u2019ve become obsessed with them. The next time you see them outside, you hesitate to tell anyone. You\u2019re already wondering what they\u2019ll say about you if you do.<\/span><\/p>\n

A friend might also say, \u201cMaybe it was a coincidence,\u201d because they heard about one encounter. That can be painful and dismissive. Gaslighting goes further. It\u2019s a pattern of manipulation that undermines your confidence in what you\u2019ve experienced.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why the whole story matters<\/span><\/h3>\n

A gift left at your door might look kind to someone who sees only the gift. If you\u2019ve already asked the person to stop contacting you and they keep finding ways to reach you, that same gift can make you afraid to open your door. The history is what gives that moment its meaning. The Stalking Prevention, Awareness & Resource Center explains that behavior that seems harmless to an outsider can be frightening in the context of a stalking pattern.<\/span><\/p>\n

If someone you love tells you they\u2019re being stalked, please listen long enough to hear the whole story. You can say, \u201cI\u2019m glad you told me. Has anything like this happened before?\u201d<\/strong> That simple question gives them room to explain what they\u2019ve been living with.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can ask for help while you\u2019re still making sense of it<\/span><\/h3>\n

If it\u2019s safe for you to do so, write down what happened, when it happened, and who saw it. Save relevant messages or voicemails somewhere the person can\u2019t access. Write down what you observed, even if you\u2019re unsure who was responsible. A victim advocate can help you look at the pattern and think through safety options for your situation. SPARC also offers a free stalking incident log and victim handbook<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is one of the reasons I started The Stalking Case Logs<\/strong>. I want people to hear what stalking is like from the people who\u2019ve lived through it. And I want the next person who hears, \u201cYou\u2019re overreacting,\u201d to know they can still ask for help. You deserve to be heard, even when you\u2019re still finding the words for what happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

If this made you think of someone, please share it with them. Sometimes hearing \u201cI\u2019m glad you told me\u201d<\/strong> is what helps someone keep talking.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know I have mentioned before that when my youngest daughter, Morgan, was being stalked, we put up cameras and motion detectors. We called the sheriff\u2019s office again and again. We were all on alert, day and night. I wish … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88896,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[490],"tags":[2291,2293,2294,2292],"class_list":["post-12641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-morgans-investigation","tag-gaslightingstalking","tag-gaslightingisemotionalabuse","tag-stalkingcontroltactics","tag-stalkingisaboutcontrol"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2wvjS-3hT","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12240,"url":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=12240","url_meta":{"origin":12641,"position":0},"title":"A Short Recap of the Stalking…","author":"Toni Ingram","date":"September 23, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Back in August of 2011, when our 19-year-old daughter, Morgan, was being stalked, we had no idea what to do or where to turn.\u00a0 Stalking fact: More than all victims of stalking indicated that they were stalked before the age of 25, and nearly 1 in 4 were stalked\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Morgan's Investigation"","block_context":{"text":"Morgan's Investigation","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?cat=490"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/IMG_2659-300x290.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3338,"url":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=3338","url_meta":{"origin":12641,"position":1},"title":"Today Spring is here – time to get outside and enjoy nature!","author":"Toni Ingram","date":"March 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Morgan's Investigation"","block_context":{"text":"Morgan's Investigation","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?cat=490"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/rainintreebranch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/rainintreebranch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/rainintreebranch.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/rainintreebranch.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/rainintreebranch.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/rainintreebranch.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3803,"url":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=3803","url_meta":{"origin":12641,"position":2},"title":"Exactly which laws were broken, wouldn\u2019t that be a place to start?","author":"Toni","date":"May 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Just to backtrack a little first, while we did not know she was being stalked yet, Morgan\u2019s stalker began to make his presence known on August 2nd, 2011 and of course he could have been at her bathroom window before that, Morgan just did not know until then. \u00a0It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Morgan's Investigation"","block_context":{"text":"Morgan's Investigation","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?cat=490"},"img":{"alt_text":"The last days of Morgan's bedroom windows with the blinds open...she loved light but didn't want someone peeking in at her.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/window-1024x685.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/window-1024x685.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/window-1024x685.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1540,"url":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=1540","url_meta":{"origin":12641,"position":3},"title":"October 3, 2011 \u2013 Day 63 of Morgan\u2019s Stalking – Morgan always loved making us laugh","author":"Toni Ingram","date":"October 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I came to the decision last night that the stress of all this was getting to be too much to handle. I had never been in a situation remotely like this before and I really wanted to be making good decisions, but I was so stressed out now on a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stalking"","block_context":{"text":"Stalking","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/10.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/10.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/10.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5004,"url":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=5004","url_meta":{"origin":12641,"position":4},"title":"Penny Tapping…is this what was making the sound on our windows?","author":"Toni Ingram","date":"November 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"It has been almost 3 years now since Morgan's death, and after so many scenarios about what was being used by Morgan's stalker(s) to make the tapping sound on our windows...the sound that would startle and create fear, I have now received a message from one of our followers that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Morgan's Investigation"","block_context":{"text":"Morgan's Investigation","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?cat=490"},"img":{"alt_text":"penny","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/penny-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2137,"url":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?p=2137","url_meta":{"origin":12641,"position":5},"title":"November 22, 2011 \u2013 Day 113 of Morgan\u2019s Stalking…","author":"Toni Ingram","date":"November 4, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"It was so wonderful today to wake up and know it had been quiet last night. Today is Tuesday and Morgan leaves for 24 hours with her friend, and their family to go to Denver. \u00a0Steve and I talked about flocking windows - I thought his idea was a little\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stalking"","block_context":{"text":"Stalking","link":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Screen-Shot-2018-02-28-at-11.12.13-AM.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Screen-Shot-2018-02-28-at-11.12.13-AM.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Screen-Shot-2018-02-28-at-11.12.13-AM.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/morgansstalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Screen-Shot-2018-02-28-at-11.12.13-AM.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/88896"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12641"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12688,"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12641\/revisions\/12688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgansstalking.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}