Somewhere Along the Journey Toward Justice for Morgan

Morgan posing on one of her Dads projects.

Morgan posing on one of her Dad’s functional art pieces.

Home from a whirlwind weekend, Steve and I find ourselves missing Morgan more than ever – but we have many blessings to share from our trip.  First we had a lovely couple of hours to just sit and talk as Vail Pass was shut down and a little snowstorm tried its best to quiet the evening.  We were on our way to the annual FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons) meeting and Morgan’s best friend was also stuck in the storm coming the other way over Vail Pass so it was a great time to text her and others I haven’t spoken with in such a long time.

Saturday at the meeting we had our chance to talk with Howard, the founder of FOHVAMP and thank him for all the help and support he has given us since Morgan’s death, it has meant so much and it is without doubt one of the few bright stars in an otherwise very dark time for us.  Howard always reminds me to focus on our health and well-being – to not let the murderer claim two more innocent lives, I speak about that often with Steve, and it has made a difference in our lives.

The singular most important thing I have to share from the meeting is the large presence of law enforcement.  Men and women with hearts as big as the Colorado skyline and their feelings for all the other victims like us right out on their sleeves for all to see.  It was so reassuring to be right there and witness first hand how our terribly tragic experience here was isolated to Garfield County, and in other parts of Colorado, Sheriffs and Police departments truly do care, very much, they give up their weekends to help victims such as Steve and I.  It was far beyond heartwarming.  It was reassurance that the entire world has not been flung into an uncontrolled orbit, that sanity really does still exist.

I listened to all the care, concern and advice of many officers down in the trenches every day, and have such great respect for all those whom I listened to, and even more so for those I had the opportunity to talk with.  I know all too well from what happened to Morgan about how difficult a task they face, and to meet with such unwavering dedication brought great hope for Steve and I.

Kim Goldman was there to share her own story of the horrific days she faced after her brother Ron Goldman (who was brutally murdered at the same time as Nicole Brown Simpson) and the ensuing media blitz that became a part of her life in the, “trial of the century.”  She shared her feeling of loss that was a part of so many there in the audience.

The experience was far too fresh and tender of a wound for us to stay till the end, but Steve and I have such unending appreciation and respect for what the FOHVAMP organization does for those who are suddenly in a position that most will never really understand, as Howard once told me a “club” that no one wants to be a part of.  Their website is http://www.unresolvedhomicides.org/about.php

We were blessed with sunshine and a clear day on Sunday, and our afternoon was spent walking Wylah and Tessi down a trail along the river.

Now there is so much to do for Morgan and her memory.  We have new direction and some very promising marching orders.  Hope for us always leads us to the wish we could share that hope more fully with Morgan, and the realization that will never be.  Our path is the search for justice – and the rest of what was taken from Morgan – we, nor anyone else can ever restore.  We love and miss you so much honey…

TODAY (September 25th) IS NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE FOR MURDER VICTIMS

NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE FOR MURDER VICTIMS
September 25, 2013
Please join COVA, the Victim Assistance Unit of the Denver Police Department, MADD, the Front Range Chapter of POMC, Voices of Victims, and Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons as we pause to remember all victims of homicide, for the 7th Annual National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims.Families of murder victims are encouraged to bring a picture of their loved one to display.  A representative from each family may present the name of their loved one, date of birth, and date of death at the microphone.  The media is expected to be in attendance.
Time: 11:00AM-1:00PMLocation: 1371 Cherokee Street(Plaza in front of the new Denver Crime Lab)

Featured Speaker: Jayann Sepich, Founder, DNA Saves

 

After the 2003 brutal rape and murder of her firstborn, Katie, Jayann and her family established DNA Saves, a non-profit organization dedicated to the passage of arrestee testing laws, in December of 2008.  Jayann, along with her family made it their mission to see legislation passed in all 50 states to mandate taking DNA upon felony arrest, called “Katie’s Law”. Colorado passed Katie’s Law in 2009.

 

Jayann says that she is an ordinary woman placed in an extraordinary circumstance.  She believes that through DNA testing of arrestees, lives will be saved and crimes prevented, and families spared the pain of burying a loved one.

The annual National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims allows the opportunity to remember those lost to homicide, and honor their memories.  September 25th was chosen to honor POMC founders Robert and Charlotte Hullinger of Cincinnati, Ohio, whose daughter was murdered on that date in 1978.

A little more about Morgan…her stalker can’t take away all the beautiful times she spent on this earth

Morgan's birhtday

Morgan’s birthday

Who was Morgan – really?  I am not quite sure why I feel the need to write this down right now, but remember how I said you should always go with what your intuition is telling you?  Well mine is telling me that even though I know who Morgan was, even though her whole family, and her friends know who Morgan was, not everyone knew her.  I have tried, throughout this blog, using her text messages, and daily events that happened to her to give everyone a look into who she really was, but now my intuition is telling me to explain more.

Morgan was 19 when her stalking started.  She turned twenty about 2 weeks later – she was born in August, she was a Leo – that should explain to some of you about her drive and her inner courage.  She was not shy about speaking out when she thought someone was being unjustly persecuted.  Morgan always stood up for her own rights as well, and enjoyed her freedom.  After raising two other children, and being involved in so many other children’s lives over the years I knew that at age 20, I could not even begin to tell Morgan what to do, I could only explain to her why I would like her to do things like, text me on her way home, always let me know where she was, and who she was with, and always carry pepper spray on her – but this was only during her stalking – we never had to employ any of this before her stalking began, as some people have suggested.  We actually thought we lived in a safe place, but I now know no place in this world is safe from evil.  Morgan was such a sweet and loving soul that she never argued about my suggestions, she knew I was worried about her, and she did not want to cause me, or her father or anyone else any additional stress so our beautiful and kind daughter took my suggestions willingly…she was frightened too, and as other stalking victims have said to me over, and over again about how they felt while being stalked, Morgan said the same thing – she just wanted it to stop, she just wanted to believe it was over…they all do.  Morgan tried to tell herself, as did I, if it was quiet for a day or two that maybe it was over…but it wasn’t.

shadowfigure

Morgan was our youngest child, one of three.  Her older sister and brother adored her.  She was a twin, but I lost her twin during my pregnancy, and Morgan (our little Leo) hung in there, she was tough.  When Morgan was only 11 years old she was exposed to chronic Carbon Monoxide for a year – it was horrible!  She went from feeling like she had the flu to being so sick she started to lose her hair – she was pale and would shake all over.  Steve and I have great insurance so we brought her to Children’s hospital, and every specialist we could think of in Colorado, but they could not figure out what was wrong with her.  Morgan was so brave, and so happy when we finally found out what was causing the problem. We got her out of that house immediately, it was hard because it was the middle of winter in a ski town so there were not many places available, but she never complained – not even once, again she was very tough.  She was so happy to be feeling better and to be back in school with her friends – unfortunately at that time we had no idea that the Carbon Monoxide would cause her more problems down the line…but what did Morgan do?  It would have been easy for her to let it hold her back, let her fade into the background, but Morgan said she was happy about all the problems she had suffered through, because she felt that it had made her stronger and even more driven.  She wrote, and did two speeches about it – she wanted to get her story out so others would know the dangers of Chronic Carbon Monoxide poisoning…not just Acute Carbon Monoxide poisoning like we sadly read about in the paper, after a whole family dies.

She was not materialistic, she loved going on “road trips” with her father and I – she always kidded us that we were a “crack-up”, as did some of her friends that we would invite along, all these trips and outings have left us amazing and happy memories that I wouldn’t change for anything.  As a family we always loved having kids in the house, we sponsored hockey kids for a year, had various cousins live with us at times, enjoyed having big holiday dinners and BBQ’s.  Morgan always enjoyed all the holiday craft times, egg dying, Christmas ornament making, and in her last two years became enamored with baking desserts for everyone.

Morgan even made heart shapes out of parmesan cheese :}

Morgan even made heart shapes out of parmesan cheese :}

Morgan had just finished her first two years of college and transferred her credits to CU Boulder so she could finish up her last two years and receive her BA.  Morgan wrote the following just before she was murdered, she thought she was going to get the chance to finish up her last 2 years of college and then go on to law school. She loved Philosophy and couldn’t wait to do even more good things with her life…now we are all going to help her fight for woman’s rights, as well as the right for all humanity to be treated equally. Change will be made – we are all here to help see this through Morgan.

Morgan wrote: About to spend the next two years overdosing on Philosophy in an amazing way. Also, anyone interested in perhaps making a grassroots effort to make a difference for woman’s rights? Anyone?

Her other passion, besides learning was her pets.  She loved all animals, and they always loved her.  Her cat Mogwai loved sleeping in her suitcase.  Whenever he heard her come home from school but not come in her room he would yell out, “,Ma, Ma”  he was a total Mama’s boy.

Mogwaiinsuitcase

Her horse TC love her so much – they were like brother and sister.  He knew when she was killed.  I went to tell him later that same day and when he saw me he reared up, threw his head from side to side and yelled out.  You could see in his eyes that he already knew and was extremely upset.  He would not come to me and he always comes to me.  I just cried and told him how sorry I was that I didn’t protect her.  No one in this world could tell me animals don’t know.  I was there and saw how her horse reacted that day and I am here to tell you he has never done that in his life…he knew, and he was very angry that this had happened to someone so dear to his heart, someone he could communicate with, someone who was so caring and gentle.  I also would like to tell you that horses NEVER forget.tc2

 

 

 

Morgan and her puppy Wylah May – Morgan adored this little one.  Morgan worked very hard on a movie in California in the beginning of that summer and spent all her hard-earned money on that puppy.  Made her special food, took her down to the river, the parks, took her for play dates with other dogs…this little dog was like a baby to her.  Wylah was about 5 months old when Morgan was murdered.  She is now an older, wiser, and beautiful dog.  She is sweet and loving and great with other dogs but very weary of certain people – even if they are far away when she is on a walk she observes people around her and actually growled at a strange-looking man just a week ago.  I guess she is a hyper-vigilant dog now.

Morgan and Wylah with bubbles

Morgan and Wylah with bubbles

She loved her little happy ferrets – they always made us smile.

Morgan's ferret Mocha peeking out of a bag

Morgan’s ferret Mocha peeking out of a bag

And Tessi missing Morgan coming through the front door, and while petting her always called her beautiful. Tessi and Morgan would always be together on the couch when Morgan was watching television.  She seemed to like all the movies Morgan liked.  Tessi misses Morgan so very much!

mjtessipuzzle

 

And of course I could go on for years writing just this one post about Morgan because there are so many wonderful things about her I could never put them in one post but I hope throughout the entire blog you will get the true “sense” of who Morgan was.  She is the most beautiful, and gentle soul I have ever met, and I am truly proud to have been her mother.  We will get justice and we will make changes…count on it.

 

Understanding the stalker, and the responsibilities of being a good parent, and a good human being

As the world grows it learns.  The FBI has begun to further understand the intricate nuances of stalkers and their multifaceted dangers.  Click here for a great article to read about predatory stalkers. 

Keenan Vanginkel stalked and escalated, as predicted that he would.  The lead detective assigned to Morgan’s felony stalking case knew the escalation was coming, and tried to warn us only two days before Morgan’s murder, at the same time he said he felt he was getting very close to making an arrest.  I do not think the detective knew what kind of escalation it would be, but he did say he felt it would escalate, and sadly for our daughter Morgan it was all too little, and too late.  She is now dead, and after the unspeakable travesties of Garfield County, Steve and I are stuck in a gut-wrenching, and never-ending rut of correcting those who should have been protecting Morgan, and her rights (before, and after her murder), but were not…

An afternoon in Santa Fe

An afternoon in Santa Fe

The last words of the detective, before Morgan was killed, was not only that her stalking was going to – “if anything it’s most likely going to escalate,” it was also that he wasn’t sure if Keenan’s girlfriend Brooke was not involved at all – OR, as he had begun to think more so lately, that she was very involved.  When your daughter is murdered somehow the who was more involved loses some of its fire.

So many lies have been uncovered that it is hard, really hard, not to point fingers at those who knew, and chose to pretend they did not.  Such as even the father of Brooke.  He confessed on the morning that Morgan’s body was found, to a client and certainly, by his own admissions,  knew enough to put a stop to it, but chose not to.  Instead he found it more important to protect his daughter.

There is a trend unraveling in Colorado these days, parents exposing the crimes and culpability of their children so others will not suffer.  It is an in-depth and complex idea.  Just the slightest word from a parent to law enforcement, that is willing to listen, has solved some of the shocking crimes that plague Colorado of late.  But you see there are two parts to the equation.  First there is a parent willing to give up the knowledge, and then there is law enforcement willing to listen. Here are some examples recently in Colorado:

1. His mother called 911 on Oct. 23, saying he wanted to confess to the Jessica Ridgeway Murder: Austin Sigg, teen suspect in slaying of 10-year-old Colo. girl Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/04/12/colorado-teen-pleads-not-guilty-in-murder-10-year-old-girl/#ixzz2dt6rZTJR

2. In a plot to kidnap, beat a man and then dump him in the woods to starve, the parents of some of the boys that were plotting this crime turned over information about the alleged plot to the Eagle County Sheriff’s Office and Basalt Police Department. Read more: http://www.vaildaily.com/article/20120420/NEWS/120429983

In Morgan’s case there was neither.  On one hand the parent was, “just protecting his daughter,”  and on the other hand there were county officials that wanted to ignore what was, and had happened.  There was the Garfield County Sheriff Lou Vallario stating on camera for CBS Channel 4 that he would “never open this case.”  At least he knew it was a case.  And the contracted Forensic Pathologist was busily threatening me to stop having Morgan’s doctors, as well as other specialists tell him that she did not die of natural causes.  That at the very least (especially under the circumstances of felony stalking) Morgan’s case should have been written up as undetermined (open an investigation) or homicide (open an investigation).  Who threatens a mother to give up the quest for justice for their daughter?

The only thing that has changed is not where I end, but rather where I start.  You see I have never had to suffer the loss of a murdered daughter before.  And I have never been left with the task of trying to squeeze justice from those that just want us to just go away.  The unbelievable has unfolded within this blog many times.  I now think it is about to take a turn for Morgan.  And if anyone deserves a turn at justice, it is our daughter Morgan.  She cared, and loved, and wanted only to help others.  That much is without doubt.  She was also viciously murdered, and suffered through every attempt that Garfield County has done to hide that fact.

I so dearly wish I could share her smile with the world just one more time, but instead I will have to settle for letting everyone see what really happened to her. And hope that in so doing many more will be saved.  Stalking needs to be taken seriously by all offices of law enforcement (not just some), by all judges (not just some) and no more excuses, no more hidden agendas, we want transparency.  We miss you Morgan, but we will never give up the quest for justice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Predator Within…assess & stop the stalker before it’s too late!

sunset

A Predatory Stalker is more focused, and is considered to stalk in such a way that is far more preparatory to a sexual assault than love notes on the window, flowers or unwanted messages.  Both are equally unnerving to the victim, and it is always paramount to identify what kind of stalker you are dealing with as soon as possible.

Morgan’s stalker was extremely cautious at the beginning, first leaving only scuffs and very faint footprints in the ground up against the house in front of her windows, employing his voyeurism.  After many weeks of stalking, and increased brazenness, cast-able footprints were possible after painstaking preparation of the soils around the house by Steve.  Steve’s exits from the house to give chase were also carefully planned to send the stalker retreating through the best areas to get a good print.  At times our tactics paid off with great impressions.  If only they had been treated like real evidence by the Garfield Sheriff’s Department, but they were not, they were never casted or photographed, so that evidence was forever destroyed.

The Predatory Stalker stalks his victim as part of a plan to attack her, usually sexually.  The initial contact is aimed at gathering information about the potential victim.

Completely true, Steve always felt, and commented that Morgan’s stalker felt and acted as if he was sizing us up, testing the defenses.  This feeling put Steve into what he thought was a counter course of action that involved trying to constantly change the locations of cameras, motion alarms, motion lights, as well as add to, or even take away something to always present a different array in an attempt to trip the stalker up.  To give an idea of how closely we really were watched one time Steve re-painted two motion detectors a camouflage color then carefully went out after dark to place them in entirely new, and very concealed locations.  Hours later they were both lying face down on the ground.  The stalker had obviously been watching the entire time and managed to neutralize them before they were turned back on.

The Predatory Stalker will often extend the stalking far beyond what is needed to complete the acquisition of information, and is sustained by the gratification derived from the voyeuristic elements, from the rehearsal, from fantasies of the planned attack, and from the sense of power over the victim.

Once again, this is spot on, in Morgan’s Stalking the prints and scuffs right from the beginning were obviously indicative of a person with their face right up against her bathroom glass.  And as the stalking continued he seemed to fall into a pattern of repetition, which I would completely see as the post acquisition of information stage, and right in line with what is described in the fantasy stage.

The Predatory Stalker is surreptitious so as not to alarm the victim, although some predatory stalkers take pleasure in raising the victim’s anxiety by actions that let the target know he or she is being watched without revealing the identify or whereabouts of the stalker.  Examples of such actions are entering the victim’s home, and moving articles around, tapping on windows at night (which Morgan’s stalker constantly did at night), and calling out while hidden.

Morgan’s Stalker was completely surreptitious, as to not alarm his victim, unless he was tapping on her windows at night to raise her anxiety, and let her know she is being watched.  He never called out while hidden.  And we absolutely can’t help but think he was in the house on many occasions.  Broken locks, jammed doors, missing jump drives, missing PJ’s and jewelry – far too many things to explain away as coincidence.

Predatory stalkers should almost always be managed within a sex-offender protocol, with the main focus being on the management of the paraphilia that is the driving force behind the stalking behavior.

Morgan’s Stalker was undoubtedly a sexual pervert, fulfilling the requirements of the law for Invasion of Privacy for Sexual Gratification with his actions.  The previous incidents dating back years in the neighborhood filled this definition of sexual perversion.

Morgan was not given a rape kit, and her autopsy was over in less than two hours, with her body sent back to the funeral home far short of the time required for strangulation bruising to develop, so the true assessment of possible strangulation, or rape will most likely never be known.

Predatory stalkers often have poor self-esteem and are sexually deviant.  They may display poor social skills, especially in romantic relationships.  Many have lower than normal intelligence, and when picking a victim it could be someone he knows or a complete stranger.

They will generally stalk for a shorter period of time than other types of stalkers as they want information to commit the crime, sufficient fantasy to lead up to the crime, and then the crime itself, a predator, one of the most dangerous stalkers, they are more likely to have prior criminal convictions, most often sexual, than other types of stalkers.  And they have a high potential to commit sexual assault or worse.  Escape after the crime is part of the planning.

Morgan’s stalking went on for four months before her murder, a relatively short time frame for stalkers.  Her stalker had a long criminal history, hitting on all of the hot button warning signs of a violent repeat stalker.  He has most likely stalked before Morgan, and he most likely will, or has already again.

Predatory Stalkers and sex offenders as a group share an impressive capacity to rationalize, minimize and excuse their behavior, no matter how outrageous it may be.  Leading double lives, leaving their family and friends stunned, and disbelieving when they are finally caught.  As we have heard many rumors of Keenan bragging about killing Morgan, we have not completely confirmed those rumors as of yet, but Keenan has never been shy about talking about what happened to Morgan, it is just never him that actually did it according to him, he says he wasn’t one of the “ones” that did that to her, and this we have confirmed that he has said to some people.  Richard Ramirez, dubbed the night stalker, a serial killer, rapist, and burglar, is considered a classic example of a predatory stalker.  While the man named Midwestern, “Mall Rapist,” James Perry was actually married with two children while at the same time a brutally efficient predatory stalker.  For a predatory stalker to lead a double life is more common than an impossibility.

All the above is the critical reason law enforcement needs to assess the stalking situation right in the beginning, so they know what they are up against, and act swiftly in order to protect, and save the victim.  If additional training is required then make sure all officers get it – do not let stalking victims be left to fear for their lives with no protection from law enforcement.

Raise your awareness level – for more Information I suggest you read these:

Psychology Today
The Human Equation  Serial Killers, self-reliance and everything in between                       by Jon E. Johnson, Psy D. The Predatory Stalker  A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing                   published on December 11, 2012 b Jon E. Johnson Psy D. in The Human Equation 
 
Advances in Psychiatric Treatment   The management of stalkers