The Unimaginable Life

Morgan always with her camera

Morgan always with her camera

Living through four months of stalking and terror…it seemed so unbearable at the time, but now it seems like just a walk in the park compared with what came next. We couldn’t protect our little girl, Steve and I, and we will live with that crushing emptiness for the rest of our lives, just as so many others are forced to do.

Everyone has their way of dealing with the tragedies in their life. Maybe for Steve and I writing a blog, and helping other victims of stalking in the memory of Morgan is our way. It does help us, yet I know all too well the accomplishments become a part of Morgan’s legacy so that gives every little thing a far deeper meaning. And as her legacy has, without doubt, been treated unfairly and unjustly by those with something to hide, there is much work still left to do.

It was so unexpected, but it was also so predictable. That the relatives of the suspects would go to any length to protect them by attacking the victim and even us. These are people who know all too well of the criminal pasts, and the criminal ways.

And isn’t it so true, that in the aftermath of a mass killing, either an evening in a movie theatre, or over many years, and across many states, leaving victims dumped or buried across the country, there are always the parents of the perpetrator that knew at the least something, and at times quite a bit. Why is it that some freely admit they knew this horrific outcome was a possibility, while others feign shock or disbelief, and then there are the most unbelievable of all, they defend as if it never happened, and anyone who thinks it did is the one with the problem.

Steve and I certainly have our weak points, but we have never had to go trolling the internet engaging in impersonation, threats, false names, twisted truths, and on and on to protect our wayward children from eventual justice. With great certainty, I know there are facts that are know by very few, but that does not stop some from presenting what they would like to be believed in Morgan’s case as if it is the obvious truth, that all should know, when it is nothing more than lies.

To date, since her untimely death, Morgan has had many doctors review her case, all specialists in what they do. Most shocking to all is how Dr. Kurtzman (the forensic pathologist) can completely ignore an Amitriptyline level in her blood perhaps less than 12 hours postmortem, and certainly less than 18 hours of 7,909 ng/ml. When 800 ng/ml would have killed her, how is she found with a level of 7,909? How was it introduced?

A research scientist, and doctor who works at a pharmaceutical company has assured us there is no way Morgan could ingest enough Amitriptyline to produce that level without vomiting it up. It can’t happen. Is this all the proof? Certainly not, just one piece! Is this the “smoking gun”? Again, certainly not! Those pieces wait patiently for their day in court, but that is not the point. The point is we know the facts, we and many others that were not willing to stand by idly and watch what was happening to Morgan have worked hard to assemble the truth. It waits for its day, and like I always remind myself, the truth never changes.

The two primary detectives on Morgan’s case had a period when they were not sure who the “ringleader” was and who was being led along the wrong path. Many conversations took place over that fact, and they assured Steve and I that they bantered the question about endlessly. Notice that the issue was not who the two perpetrators were, there was no doubt of that. The issue was, who was the leader, who was the person in charge. They finally arrived on K.V.G. with B. H. just along for the ride – we agreed with that only after an event the day Morgan’s body was found. Steve calls them pennies in a jar, all these little bits of truth that add up to the conclusions I share. What really happened to Morgan the night she was murdered has been largely constructed from those many “pennies in her jar”.

You can bet I am not about to spill any of the pennies I have been asked to keep to myself until the time comes. It is such an odd existence to maintain this silence, especially for an Italian, I grew up beating the drum when it needed beating, not maintaining silence. Not sitting by in silence, biting my lip as others draw up grandiose conclusions as to what really happened when they do not have much more than a tiny clue as to what the real facts are. I guess Dr. Kurtzman did the same thing, he was just the first. An officer with the Garfield Sheriff’s Department who prefers to remain anonymous was the first to tell us that Dr. Kurtzman does not like to be wrong, and boy was he ever right about that. Good attitude for a profession where new evidence presents itself all the time. Ditto for the Sheriff when he proclaimed he would never open this case. Shocking for people who are supposed to search for the truth.

Now is the time when those with sons and daughters who have strayed a bit too far to do some blind justification for their budding young criminal children, it’s so simple really. If Morgan was not murdered, then there was no one who murdered her. If she was not stalked, then there was no one who stalked her. There is no statute of limitations on murder, so the only way you can claim to be “cleared” is when the murderer is prosecuted and found guilty, oh and it also is not you.

One more thing, if you are identified as a “regular customer” of the cash for gold store, then who cares if on one of your many trips there, Morgan’s gold was not a part of the loot cashed in. What about all of the other times you were there, being a “regular customer”? What was cashed in then? And I really wonder, why do you have so much gold you are a regular?

I have to ask, at some point aren’t they a bit obvious. Doesn’t it become a bit too much like the Wizard of OZ? “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”. Pay no attention to the man leaning against the front of Steve’s truck, and watching the Sheriffs drive away. Pay no attention to the young white male on the porch, punching numbers into the door lock at 4:30 am. Pay no attention to the young white male dressed all in black watching you let your dog out in the morning, ten feet away, at approximately 5:30 am in the dark!

And what about all of the foot trails on the berm behind our house, I almost forgot the trails worn into the berm. But wait, there could be a perfectly good explanation, now this is a long shot, but you have to allow for the possibility, it could all be the regulars from Catherine’s Store taking short cuts home. Isn’t that what Louise Bundy would have said? With complete seriousness too. We lived in that house for over 6 years and there never were trails worn into the berm before the stalking started.

And if you took the time to explain to Louise how there is a problem with the theory of Catherine’s Store customers trekking through the ranch on the way home, like the paddocks that look so nice and green from outer space are really full of mud (it’s why there are never horses in the end paddocks), and the irrigation ditch, which really does not show at all, is full of water and makes a big splash, and thud as you trip through it. How there are not really many residents in our neighborhood to go there anyway. And finally the trails over the berm starting behind our house don’t really lead to Catherine’s store. They do lead to the same place as the trails from the walk around in early November 2011 did, to B.H.’s house at the end of the street. But as Louise would say, that is such a minor point…right?

Morgan had her dreams and her goals. She worked very hard at them until the day they were all taken from her. And if Morgan could have one dream right now it would be that other victims do not have to suffer the same fate she did. There is still a stalker/murderer out there that has not been arrested, and be assured he will do it again…he can not stop.

Steve and I are here to make sure that doesn’t happen, for as many as possible. That Morgan’s true legacy can become as bright as her life on earth was, she deserves at the very least for that to happen.

Morgan’s army of angels has been helping us in such a huge way, finding us experts in their fields for their review of the evidence, finding us legal council to help us through all the steps needed to move forward, keeping the pressure on, helping us to advance, and go up the chain of command – if any other angels out there want to help as well please email me through the website on the contact button…be assured, I will answer…the help and advice we have been offered has made all the difference in the world, and I know there are still angels out there that can help even more. Thank you all for your support and help! Steve and I couldn’t do this without you.